Since our oldest daughter, Abby, was getting married that June, Jeff and I decided it might be a good idea to take some dance lessons since we knew there would be lots of dancing at the reception, and we really didn’t want to embarrass ourselves or Abby. (Jeff and I were high school sweethearts and we’ve danced at a lot of dances over the years, but we’ve never danced well. Sure, we’ve had a good time but we truly had no idea what we’re doing.) So, surprisingly, when I suggested we take ballroom dance lessons that Fall, he wholeheartedly agreed. I didn’t even have to coerce him!
After just a few weeks, we’d learned some Salsa, Swing, the Foxtrot and the basic Waltz. We were making great progress, but we were no Fred and Ginger…we were more like Fred and Wilma. Still, we were enjoying our time on the dance floor.
But, dancing isn’t all that we learned.
One week, we had the entire class laughing because Jeff picked me up, pulled me where he wanted me to go on the dance floor, and proclaimed, “Woman, let me lead!”
Apparently, in my enthusiasm to get the steps just right, I had taken over “the lead,” which had us bumbling and fumbling all over the dance floor. While it was a humorous moment, it was also a teachable one.
Our amazing and accomplished dance teacher Kathy Thompson (who is also the owner of Kat’s Performing Arts Studio in our hometown) stopped the music, smiled, and said: “Ballroom is enjoyed the most when it is done correctly. With the man leading very strongly and the woman following his lead. Just the way God has intended a man and woman to live together in this world. This makes the unit so enjoyable for the participants and to those observing.”
I think every man in the room said a hearty, “Amen.”
Jeff pulled me in for a big hug and said, “See, you gotta let me lead!”
He was right, and so was Kathy.
Jeff is the spiritual leader of our home, and I respect him with every fiber in me, but sometimes in my over-zealousness, I try and take the lead and everything gets out of whack. Just like our dance became ugly and confusing on the dance floor when I took the lead, our marriage lacks harmony and ease when I become “Tammy Takeover.” Truly, life is so much sweeter when we do things God’s way. Ephesians 5:25-33 clearly tells us that husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the church and that wives are to respect their husbands. This passage of scripture has gotten a bad reputation in some circles, but it shouldn’t because it works.
The Word always works!
When our husbands love us the way that they should, and we respect them as we should, we move through life as one, and it’s a beautiful dance.
“Be completely humble and gentle; Be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace.” Ephesians 4:2-3